Bartlow

by Bartlow

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1.
Downtown 04:12
when I get downtown, it astounds what a dreadful crowd I always sleep alone, that's not the plan It's not the plan I had I want to live life half asleep to feel the consciousness drained from me and to become withdrawn habitually but not forgotten I live my life as one, among the crowd no matter who's around I only love myself because we're proud, we never speak aloud I want to live life half asleep to feel the consciousness drained from me and to become withdrawn habitually but not forgotten, asleep
2.
Cougar 04:00
I can't get this out of my mind, I think about it all the time she's so loving and so kind to me but I would have someone watch you to make sure that you have half a mind to do what's right it's not that I don't want to you're something that I'm leaving behind when you wash the water away I had something I wanted to say that you are not alone you are not alone everyone's alone now that everyone's touched you six bottles left to wish you well it was thrown, arching so gracefully breaking the glass, shattered inwardly when you wash the water away I had something I wanted to say that you are not alone you are not alone everyone's alone
3.
she's standing next to me but I'll never agree to be until I'm caught up undressing carefully trying not to make anyone angry so encompassing all around me it's all encompassing it consumes me It started out so playfully but now she's got cold feet all the messages I leave ain't that shit the only thing that I believe the only thing that matters to me that's to fuck so encompassing all around me it's all encompassing it consumes me she's standing next to me I'll never agree until I'm caught up
4.
your secret trust fund accruing interest everyday you've got a bloody secret your anarchist bank account's dragging you down when you make appearances you always wear your beggars crown but I've got a guilty conscience that's why I moved way the fuck across town very far from my home I don't think you'll be here by tomorrow got to get my money right to follow you everything you said it now rings hollow at least you got your money right? you've got important meetings all of the deadlines have been set in stone you must secure the trust fund and everything else you rightfully own and to protect from lawsuits and the moral conundrum has grown how you float around here gallivanting with poor people's ghosts I don't think you'll be here by tomorrow got to get my money right to follow you everything you said it now rings hollow at least you got your money right? your money's right.
5.
wait, right there tied up in knots, it's my bag of cocaine it's been stepped on in life, and hidden away I need to show up for work to kill the pain to be a debutante married away now I embody an all seeing eye I crawl to the past now I give my ancestors signs I'm coming down fast now I embody an all seeing eye I come to your house now all momentum is gone I can't get it back I am burning everything that I own I am cutting the flesh away my nights always end up this way, digging bones out of graves wait, right there below the sound and out in the rain I am disadvantaged in life I selfishly stray now I embody an all seeing eye I crawl to the past now all momentum is gone I can't get it back I am burning everything that I own I am cutting the flesh away my nights always end up this way, digging bones out of graves
6.
Deer Boy 03:55
it could be that there is no hell looming out there, waiting for you you can't listen to everything they say I'm sure now that you'll make it through give me only one life to waste and to align myself with the snake show me only one path to take and to align myself with the snake to tell a child of the gallows to say you'll be infinitely swallowed to burn in fire and brimstone you believe what you want I am old now it still stays with me my constant companion of grief nothing can unwind the web you weave I never relax completely to tell a child of the gallows to say you'll be infinitely swallowed to burn in fire and brimstone you believe what you want

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released December 30, 2018

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Bartlow Champaign, Illinois

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